I've Always Missed You, Mama
by MukunaMatata
Summary: First fanfic, about Leo before prophecy, and life during the foster homes. No hate, but constructive criticism is always welcome. All about Spicy McShizzle, as the Gods Intended. I've now added the rest of them, along with Nico and Reyna, but Percy will not show up until the end. Expect many god cameos and hidden references. Please review, and remember I'm new at this.
1. Leo's First Home

**Leo missed his mom more than ever.**

It had been 6 months ever since she died, and ever since, nothing had ever been the same. He may have only been 9 years old, but he was pretty sure no child deserved to hurt this much.

He was in his first foster home, after living with Aunt Rosa had went pretty badly (he still didn't understand why she hated him so much). So far, it sucked. The mom was a vegan (where eating vegetables took new heights), the dad obviously had a thing against 9 year olds (or maybe Mexicans), and all the kids had been his age at least 5 years ago (as if the rite of passage to teenagerdom comes with a built in pamphlet inside their brains called _How to Become a Sultry, Child-Hating Teenager in 5 Easy Steps_), so they treated him as the human push pin. It was the last straw when 'Leo' burned down the tofu shelf. It went a little like this.

_Mrs Matthews: Now, eat your tofu, Leo._

_Leo: I don't wanna eat that! It looks like flattened insulation._

_Mr Matthews: Now Leo, eat your tofu, it's healthy._

_Leo: (smirks) That's rich coming from the man whose 'late-night business' includes a 9:00 trip to TGIF, Thank God It's Food!_

_Mrs Matthews: Harold!_

_Mr Matthews: (blustering) Leo, h-h-how could you?! That was our little secret! I brought you home a prime rib last week!_

_Mrs Matthews: (scowling) So that's why for the first time I didn't catch you __sneaking a late night trip to McDonalds or Chipotle! I just finally thought you made it, but no, my husband brought you a slab of the same animal you watched on Back In The Barnyard this morning! How would Otis feel if you had eaten a piece of Abby?!_

_Leo: (looking dead in the eye): He'd say 'Chew cud', then 'Milk me'._

_Mr Matthews: (bangs on table) ENOUGH! We will discuss this in the morning. Until then, GOOD NIGHT! (muttering to himself) Goodness Gracious, felt like I was in the middle of a__** FOSTERS **__marathon._

_Mrs Matthews: Fine, but let me tell you boy, until you grow up and leave this house, you will eat soo much vegetables you'll be a spokes campaign for Weight Watchers! You'll spend your weekends marking coupon books for tofu sales!You just wait and see. (Turning around and stomping up the stairs) Harold, get back here!_

_So that's the last conversation he had with his first pair of foster parents, until he was woken up the next morning as his 'mom' tore his butt up with a frying pan all Rapunzel-style, yelling "What'd you do to our tofu you filthy boy?! What'd you do?! While Leo had never been officially blamed, there were two nine-year-old boy handprints seared into the cupboard, just like the table with Tia Callida. That was the first, but not the last._

So that was Leo's life in a nutshell by nine years old.


	2. The Lees

**The next house wasn't much better.**

"Drink toilet water, Mario!", the older 'brothers' said as Leo dunked his head into the porcelain throne _once again_. He wondered when his new family would stop beating him up every time his 'parents' turned around, but he wasn't complaining about the parents. They were pretty cool, unlike the rest of them. The whole 3 weeks he was there was like a demon-based parody of _Cheaper by the Dozen. _Still, anyone was better than Aunt Rosa.

The eldest boy, Marcus, was dunking his head into toilet water, the cool liquid drenching his face and hair. Leo gagged when a piece of poop from last night floated into his, sadly, _open, _mouth, and even more distraught when he tasted corn. _Holy Hephaestus", _Leo thought to himself,_ we had corn for dinner last week! What are these people plugging up their butts? Their manners? _The sassy remark made the ten-year-old laugh for the first time since coming to the Lee's house. _Lee,_ Leo thought, _how did they not think of a better name? I see people with great last names like Mukuna or like that, but Lee is what they came up with? The apple sure doesn't fall far from the tree!_ Leo suddenly had an idea, which would either get him beat up a thousand times over and over, or possibly get his head out of the toilet bowl. _Well, worth a try._ "Hey freaks of nature!"

His brothers looked at him with a combination of disgust, because they couldn't imagine what he had to say was important enough to be said to them, and awe, because he had enough nerve to interrupt a Lee bashing. Nevertheless, unless he recited the whole Bohemian Rhapsody by heart, Leo was dead. So his great idea was to joke around.

"Hey, Marcus!", Leo gurgled, "Is it really true that you nibbled a girl's neck last night?"

Marcus grabbed his hair and yanked it up forcefully, breathing into Leo's nose. He could smell this morning's tuna sandwich. "Yeah", Marcus shot back, "she liked it, so what?"

Leo smirked. "You were slobbering. Her name's Pamela, not _Hamela_".

Everyone else snickered, but Marcus only gave a small smile. Leo decided he would have to give it a little oomph. So he tried a rare gem. Upon reevaluating it, he tried something else;

"Am I the only person you stuff into your poop encrusted toilet", said Leo, while mentally cursing himself, and hoping the ocelots had the humor of Aunt Rosa.

"Uh, yeah dude", said Jacob, the second oldest one, with a smirk. "Who else is as pathetic as you, Mario?"

"Do you promise never to forget me, Jacob?"

"Honestly Leo, I pray that I never encounter one of you again, albeit that I'm allowed to forget you. I doubt I'll be allowed to forget. Nevertheless, I won't forget you for the duration of this joke. About that joke, hurry up!

Leo was glad Jacob made that comment. _Good thing it's working, I reeled him in. How do you make a nerd laugh? With a stupid comment. It works in math class, why not now? Now, what is the stupidest joke genre known to man?_

"Knock knock", said Leo to Jacob, praying that the joke worked.

"Who's there?", asked Jacob in annoyance.

Leo broke into a wide grin. "Hey, you forgot me already!"

The Lee boys broke into laughter. Sure the joke wasn't that funny, but funny enough. Which gave Leo hope.

"Just call me Spicy McShizzle".

Jacob chuckled. "Sure, why not." He whispered to Marcus, "That'll get old fast."

So after that the Lees and the Valdez lived in perfect harmony. Or at least close enough.

In total, this house was probably the best one he ever lived in. He wasn't kicked out, but he ran away. It was because Mr. and Mrs. Lee asked Leo to call them 'Mom'. He wasn't ready, so he left, and got as far away as Austin, before getting caught again.

**Sorry, kinda new to this. Please leave reviews, and visit my profile to answer a poll. I'm questioning whether or not I should leave this to JUST Leo, or add the rest of the Seven including Nico and Reyna, excluding Percy, because his mother Sally is amazing. Please leave a review, or again, check out my poll on my profile page. Thanks!**


	3. Leo Meets Two Random Hippies off I-35

_Phil and Junebug are mine_. _Leo belongs to Rick Riordan. Technically_.

_Leo belongs to Rick Riordan. Technically_.

_I try not to think. It inferes with being nuts._

_-Leo Valdez_

**Being on the road is getting increasingly difficult for 11-year olds.**

These were Leo's thoughts as he stood at the side of the road with his thumb up in the air. He guessed that drivers were incredibly scared of Latino preteens with Santa elvish characteristics, as if he was going to simultaneously put coal in their stockings and Legos under their feet. The stupidity of them, Leo mused, the curses and superstitions they'd say and believe, like _'You're cursed with fire for all your days'_, and _'I hope your eye twitches!'_ Texans.

A car finally pulled up to Leo, and he kinda hoped it would turn back. It was a family van, dark red with a gold bottom. That was normal, but the inside was creepy. It had a bunch of flower prints and hippie signs. The entire top was a dark blue backdrop with pasted, stark white flowers and dream catchers. Daisies decorated the headrests, there were Ancient Greek letters scratched into every surface, and the trunk was filled with Ancient Greek letters. How he knew, Leo had no idea. But none of that was as weird as the fact that tmhe woman looked just like a blond version of Tia Callida and her husband.

"Hi, hon," the Tia look-alike said. "What's your name?" Her voice was dripping with sickening enthusiasm. He recognized that voice. It was on every other "mom" and social worker's tongue before they gave him away to complete strangers.

"Uh...Thomas," Leo said. He wasn't about to give his name away to hippie weirdos. Although something told him he might learn to love these freaks. At least the blond.

"Kay...Thomas!," chirped the blond. The man, however, had a surly look, and flickers of..._wait, was that lightning_...in his beard. He wondered if the man was an inventor, if so, he probably invented the phrase, 'If looks could kill."

"Ok…Thomas," he said, "We are Phil and Junebug. Rules: 1) This wasn't my idea, so no, I won't help you when you realize what I'm talking about. 2) I will not tell you what I'm talking about, but know that I blame my wife. 3) While she's an idiot, she's my wife, so I'll go along with this. "For now'" he added to Junebug. "And 3) You're staying with us for a year. Got it?"

"Do I really have a choice?," asked Leo.

"No," said Phil. "Get in!"

So that was that. Leo had a family.

**So, I wonder who Phil and Junebug are? Leave comments below!**


	4. Phil and Junebug: Undercover Gods (DUH)

Phil and Junebug were the weirdest parents Leo had ever had. And the best.

They had traveled the world purely for fun. Every national monument knew, and more no one really knew, had been visited. The Statue of Liberty, the Washington Monument, Big Ben, the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China (Leo felt a pang of humor at that one), even the big Coffee pot of Seattle (the bottle of cream and jar of sugar was nearby). And the Lotus Casino. That one was strange. At each landmark he had been asked by June to put his hand on the wall and tell her how it felt. This may sound weird, but it was like he could _feel_ the gears turning on his hand. Leo had always hated magic and curses, machines made more sense to him. That's how he knew the Lotus Casino was evil. It radiated death.

And the engineering fairs and shows. Oh the glory.

Then there were the fires.

Phil and Junebug were obsessed with camping. Usually he knew where they camped, but they seemed to be on some mountain. They also always had to have a fire. Yet they never had matches. Or gasoline. Yet Leo would always be told to start a fire.

"Come on, Thomas," crooned Junebug "Light the campfire. You know you know how to warm up these old bones!"

"Yeah, Thomas," smirked Phil as he came to sit by Junebug. The two exchanged a small scowl, but Leo wasn't sure if he had seen it correctly. Then again, it seemed as if there had been '_trouble in paradise' _lately. '_Wonder why?'_ Leo couldn't tell, but it had something to do with him. Nevertheless, here was Leo, being asked to make a fire. Out of sheer force of will.

"Uh, sure," sputtered Leo. "I'll just go get a match for this fire-"

"No!" This came from June. "I mean, surely you must have some idea of how to start a fire independently. Perhaps you feel a stirring in your gut-"

"No." This time, it was Leo. "I hate fire. Forever and always."

June pursed her lips in a frown. "Fine."

So she lit a fire, but June looked disappointed. Which made Leo feel worse than he smelled (Phil and June didn't believe in bathing). He hated disappointing her.

-CHANGE IN P.O.V-

Hera put wet wood over the fire, and then went to the tent she and Zeus were sharing. For now anyway.

Zeus scowled when she came in. "Your plan is flawed. He can't even use his gift."

Hera felt a blush creep onto her cheeks, but she pushed it down. "He will be my hero. As Jason Grace is my champion."

"Some hero. He's your grandson."

"_Our_ grandson. Jason's purely yours."

"Oh, baby, don't do this again," Zeus pleaded as Hera huffed and turned to face the wall. "Look, let's talk about the plan, what's the plan?"

Hera sighed, but turned back around. "Because Leo is having such a hard time using, or even discovering his powers, we are going to help him. When he learns, we are going to drop him back into the real world, he'll forget all about us and his powers, but unconsciously he'll feel something when he hears the word 'fire'. Then, when the prophecy comes to pass, he'll be prepared.

Zeus sighed. "No demigod has had to face this before. We didn't. And the greatest demigods of all time, Dionysus and Heracles, couldn't even help us. How can Leo Valdez, Jason Grace, and the rest of them possibly do what the greatest couldn't?"

Hera ran a hand through her hair. She locked eyes with Zeus.

"Then they'll become the greatest."

**Sorry that it's taking me so long. Please review!**

**And expect a new character next ;-)**

**MukunaMatata**


	5. Frank Gets a Surprise

**So I've finally extended the story past Leo. I feel that Frank has so much potential as a fanfic character. Also I'm starting a Frazel story soon, so please check that out to.**

**And see what three gods make cameos in this chapter.**

Frank was sitting by the windowsill, watching the rain fall down. It rained a lot in Ontario, but this rain seemed-_troubled. _There were two fat raindrops on the window, so Frank spent the next hour putting bets against them. If the first one won, he'd clean his room. Tie,he'd talk to Grandmother willingly.

If the second one won, his mom would come back.

Frank lived in a huge mountain, with white columns, long windows with black curtains, and stainless, polished wooden floors.

Floors his Grandmother was walking down now, every click-clack taking him closer to absolute despair.

Grandmother Zhang poked her head into the door. "Fai. Get up, someone's here to see you." While she usually screamed orders from the living room, today she seemed-_subdued._ As if there was someone here who he wouldn't want to see.

Frank walked to the door where a lieutenant was waiting. He had dark brown eyes flecked with red, knife scars, a buzzcut, and many medals. But all of these details faded away as the man brought out a small, white box.

The color drained from Frank's face. "No."

The lieutenant humbly bowed his head down farther. "Your mother was killed in battle. She was saving falling soldiers from gunfire."

"No, it can't be." Frank was holding and shaking his head in distress. "No, my mom can't be dead!"

The lieutenant lifted his head to a face full of desperate fear. His eyes pulsed with guilt, but he managed to get the next words out:

"We at the Canadian Military would like to thank you for you mother's service-"

But it didn't matter. Frank was gone.

Grandmother Zhang put a hand on the commander's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know you loved her, but you're being too hard on yourself. You couldn't have saved her."She considered something for a minute, and then asked, "Could you?"

The lieutenant sighed. "No."

"But it was still too soon."

Frank was curled up on his bed sobbing in pure agony. He hadn't seen his mom in six years. Now he never will again.

His sob fest was interrupted by two sharp raps on the door. Grandmother's signal.

"Go away Grandmother, I'm not in the mood."

"You're lucky you're mom just died, or else it would've been you." Grandmother Zhang slid the door closed as she went to sit by Frank. "You can't be the only one sad. She was my daughter. She came out of me."

"I came out of her. What's your point?"

"That we can cry together, Fai."

Frank was shocked. His grandmother had never expressed a want, or even capability, of being nice. In any other situation, she would've yelled at him to get over himself. Nevertheless, he wasn't complaining, so he moved over so Grandmother could get in. He breathed in the scent of allspice as they sat, hugging his grandmother like she was the last person he had left. Which she was. His dad had died in Afghanistan before he was born.

After five minutes of hugging, Grandmother Zhang got up.

"Oh, Fai," Grandmother Zhang said wearily as she shook Frank away. "I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. Come on, let's go eat moon cakes."

"No," said, or better yet-muffled Frank from below 3 feet of blankets.

"Fai, get up. We need to talk now," Grandmother Zhang huffed as she ripped off blankets in vain. Frank had already crept out the door.

Frank slid down the banister to the door, where the plain, white box was still waiting. Frank tiptoed over, as if the box contained an alternate reality he couldn't control.

Much like this one.

"No,"he thought. "She died, open the dang box!"

Frank removed the lid, and inside he saw letters. Letters all written to him, all from his mom. They went from May 2000 to April 2006, a month ago. The last one read:

_Frank,_

_These enemies fight like a swarm of bees. Luckily, so do I. I'm coming home for a few months starting next week. Hold on tight, and I love you._

_Mama_

_Emily Zhang_

Frank's eyes stung with tears. '_I love you," _she had said. '_I'm coming back home next week."_ A dream now ruined.

"I bet Fate is having a really good laugh right now."

Suddenly Frank was seized with a vision of three old women cackling. "Wonder why?" Frank wondered.

"Fai," said Grandmother Zhang as Frank turned around. She walked up to him and knelt on the cold floor. When Frank saw her eyes, he immediately knew that she had been crying. He felt ashamed.

"Fai, we need to get a hold of ourselves, or else we could drown ourselves in sorrow."

"Good, I can see Mom again."

"Fai!" Grandmother Zhang lightly swatted Frank. "You mustn't think such things. Your mother died to protect you. Honor the sacrifice."

Frank frowned. "I don't want to honor a sacrifice, I just want my mom back."

Grandmother Zhang smiled, but it was forced. "Fai, I know that you're feeling sad, I am too, but you need to remember-"

Frank sat up with a crazed look in his eyes. "What do you mean remember?! She's my mom, all I need to _remember_ is that she's _dead_. My mother is _dead."_

Something in Grandmother Zhang's tightly woven exterior must have cracked, because she started shaking him. "What about me?! She was my daughter! I loved her too!"

The moment was over as soon as it had started. Grandmother Zhang smoothed her outfit and hair down as she apologized.

"I'm sorry Fai. I don't know what had gotten into me. As I said, we must fight in her honor. She died for us in ways we don't know yet. While I hope it doesn't come to that, we must be prepared to do the same. You, Fai, will face greater challenges, but will reap greater rewards and joy."

Frank simply nodded, completely numb to everything until he saw a tear slide down Grandmother Zhang's cheek.

"Oh, and I'm sorry too Grandmother. I should've been more sensitive to your feelings."

Grandmother Zhang gave a smile. "Thank you, but now, go do something, shoot your arrows. Children and Grandmothers shouldn't talk like this."

Frank gave a small smile, then ran off. Grandmother Zhang hoisted herself up to hang the mourning curtains, when she heard a faint pop. There was a black rose stapled to a note, which read:

She's in Elysium, trying for rebirth

All is well

He WILL be a hero

And will bring your family honor

~A friend

P.S. She misses and loves you both

Grandmother Zhang glared at the heavens.

"I may have lost one child to your silly god games,

but this one will fight for his life."

**So now it's been expanded. I'm doing Annabeth after this, I have a really good idea for her. Please review!**

**MukunaMatata**


	6. Suprise Haircuts and Lap Dances

Annabeth wanted to be anywhere else but here.

This had been the third time today that Annabeth's dad and his new wife, Miranda, had been arguing about her. The first time, Tyler and Connor had been throwing oatmeal in a fierce battle of spoons in the way-too-small kitchen. Approximately an eighth of a cup had gotten into her hair, along with her book, so she had simply given them a lesson in improvised battle.

_Tyler and Connor had been playfighting with their green, plastic spoons and gloppy oatmeal during breakfast that morning. Annabeth could understand why they weren't eating it. Miranda had no knowledge of the word 'flavor'._

_Annabeth had been engrossed in a book about the Arch, her number one future travel destination. Out of nowhere, a giant glob of oatmeal splattered onto her face, getting everywhere. Her face, her eyes, her nostrils, you name it. _

'_Ugh,' groaned Annabeth. 'This'll take me forever to get off.'_

_But sadly, that wasn't the end of it._

_A persistent tablespoon had oozed down the bridge of her nose before dripping down onto the glossy, sleek 8.4 point Times New Roman font of her hardcover book, the only thing she truly owned. Annabeth had saved up over months for it. Now, congealed on the text was a ball of non-flavored crap and disappointment. (Seriously, hadn't she ever heard of brown sugar?!) Worst of all, Annabeth hadn't had reached that paragraph yet._

_While Annabeth was fighting the urge to have a temper tantrum worthy of Hera, the twins just smiled with almost elfish grins. They had no idea of the consequences when it came to the destruction of knowledge._

_Annabeth slowly raised, and then tossed a carving knife between her hands as the grins fell from Tyler and Connor's faces._

'_Well,' thought Annabeth with maliciousness worthy of Tartarus, "they're about to find out."_

Then, there was the first "Miranda " brawl. Well, first one after seventeen others. But who's counting?

Bethany and Annabeth had been watching T.V. in the den when Miranda showed up to yell at Annabeth for giving the boys haircuts.

"_Annabeth, honey," Miranda said in that fake mom voice Annabeth couldn't stand. "Did you accidently give Tyler and Connor little haircuts?"_

_Annabeth should've just apologized then and there, passed it off as an accident. But she was too proud to care._

"_Yes, Miranda, in fact I did." Annabeth's tone portrayed growing confidence, she subconsciously stood up straight. "They 'accidentally' ruined my favorite book, and may I add, my __only_ _book, so I accidentally ruined their favorite look. Oh, and by theirs, I mean yours." Annabeth then gave the biggest smile she could, which wasn't that hard based on Miranda's highly-satisfying, clown-like frown._

"_Annabeth," growled Miranda while sporting a gorgeous eye twitch, "may you please just apologize to Tyler and Connor, or trust me, I will-"_

"_Hey, what's going on?" Annabeth's dad jogged down the stairs and protectively slid an arm across Miranda's back. Annabeth was torn between crying and retching at this point; Miranda's "my hero" look was repulsive._

"_Oh, Freddie," melted Miranda through Annabeth's gagging. "Annabeth isn't listening to me."_

'_Oh Freddie,' mocked Annabeth, 'Miranda won't listen to me.' But it was futile, 'Freddie' was sold._

"_Now, Annabeth," started Frederick," your mother made me raise you when you were born. That does not mean you can act anyway you can. I am your father."_

"_Not by choice," muttered Annabeth under her breath._

"_Oh, Freddie," scolded Miranda. "Don't be so hard on the poor girl."_

"_Really?" Annabeth dared hope._

"_Why of course," said Mirans reassuringly. "It's not your fault that your mother is some crazy, 10,000 year old goddess."_

"_Now, wait a minute, you-"_

"_Well, hold on a minute young lady, I was simply-"_

"_Miranda, Annabeth, stop-"_

"_-you stuck-up dad stealer!"_

"_-trying to help!"_

"_-THIS INSTANT!"_

_Annabeth's dad looked furious. He stomped over to the TV and turned it off. "Bethany, bed, now. Tell your brothers."_

_After Bethany was out of earshot, he turned around. "Both of you, rooms now."_

"_But Freddie-"_

"_But, Dad-"_

"_NOW!" They raced up the stairs._

_Annabeth was furious at the fact Miranda would get off scott-free. "I mean," Annabeth grumbled, "it's not as if I can give my __father_ _a lap dance."_

They had heard that.

She was still in there.

Until nighttime

**Hey guys, sorry that took so long, it's really hard to find time. I'm starting up three new fanfics, so look out for those. And in case anyone is confused, the italics are background. Also, I know the real names are Frederick, Matthew, and Bobby, and Helen, I like my names. If it truly bothers you guys though, I'll change it.** **Also, thanks for reading!**

**Melissa**


	7. Jumpin' Jehosaphat

**Hey you guys, I'm really sorry that I haven't gotten around to updating more often; you'd be surprised how hectic my life can be. But now it's summer, so that means I can actually get some typing time. So as a sorry, I'll be giving you three LONG chapters right off the bat. And now, because I've forgotten to include this, here's a disclaimer:**

**THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME (EXCEPTING IN MY DREAMS, OF COURSE). THEY BELONG TO UNCLE RICK.**

**And now, my patient subjugates, on to the story:**

"Dad, I don't get why you're leaving," wailed a seven-year-old Piper. "You just got back from an audition, and now you're leaving again?"

"I'm sorry, Pipes, but my schedule just doesn't support single dads," Tristan replied amid a pile of crumpled laundry. "It's fine; Jane will watch you."

"O.K., O.K." reassured Tristan as he saw his daughter's light brown face crumple up and start screaming at the drop of the 'J'. "I'll get Poppa Tom, how's that? Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Great, I'll get Poppa Tom." And as Tristan maneuvered around the one room apartment with a red-headed pipsqueak attached to his leg, he got a corded phone, brought it to his ear, and cried out "dad, _help me."_

After a thirty minute conversation, primarily consisting of Grandpa Tom convincing Tristan that he was in fact a good father, with perfectly fine genetics, and no mental health issues that emerge after seven years of fatherhood.

'_Jumpin' Jehosaphat,' _thought Grandpa Tom '_I shoulda wrung the highlights out of that witch the second I met her. Lord knows I didn't cause this mess.' "_O.K., Thomas, I'm coming," soothed Poppa Tom. '_Don't get your bloody knickers in a twist," _he grumbled internally.

Exactly twenty minutes later, Grandpa Tom walked into the apartment with an old book and a paper bag he was clutching around the neck. "Is anyone here?!"

Tristan walked into the room carrying Piper slung onto his left shoulder. He had changed into a dark brown collarless sweater, and well worn blue jeans, along with a pair of thin white socks. Piper was wearing white capri khakis with a bright orange shirt reading _Daddy's Girl _across the top. Her brown hair was pulled into a tight bun, and freckles dotted her face. When she noticed Poppa Tom, however, she jumped off Tristan's shoulder and ran towards Gramps.

"Poppa!" yelled Piper as she jumped into his arms. She breathed in the welcoming scent of tobacco and the earth. She snuggled into his chest as Grandpa reached up to pat her hair. But after the first pat, his hand recoiled in disgust. _'I wonder why?'_ pondered Piper. _'Maybe Daddy's wondering too.'_

"What's wrong, Dad?" inquired Tristan as he sat down on the other burgundy, cracked armchair. "What's wrong with her hair? Then again, the only hairstyles you ask for is 'bald, bald, or _extra _bald.'"

Grandpa Tom reached over to give Tristan an extra-hard thunk on the head. "This hairstyle, manly men don't create such _girly_ hairstyles." He took a long swig from his paper bag and then continued, "and I saw your hand reaching earlier for my spirits here," and with that he patted the bottle, "but if you can make your daughter have a hairstyle worthy of _Oprah _herself, I'm sure you're fully capable of getting your own damn booze."

Grandpa Tom then leaned back into his chair, and was in the process of lighting a cigarette when he was used by Piper as a launching pad. "What the-"

"Look Grandpa," giggled Piper as she yanked off Tristan's socks. "I painted Daddy's toes!" They were bright pink, and accented the major blush creeping onto Tristan's cheeks.

Poppa Tom had a face that even Squidward couldn't rival. "What the hell is on your toes?! I oughta-"

"Look, Dad," sighed Tristan, "when your daughter asks to paint your toes, then damn right are you gonna let her paint your toes."

Grandpa Tom just tossed his booze into Tristan's lap. "Something tells me you need this more than I do." He then gathered Piper into his lap.

"Here we go, my little Piper. I'm going to tell you a story that _my _grandpa taught me when I was your age. It's about your heritage."

Tristan rolled his eyes, but leaned back into his chair.

"Thank you son. Now, here we go…"

_ There are different opinions about the stars. Some say they are balls of light, others say they are human, but most people say they are living creatures covered with luminous fur or feathers._

_ One night a hunting party camping in the mountains noticed two lights like large stars moving along the top of a distant ridge. They__wondered and watched until the light disappeared on the other side. The next night, and the next, they saw the lights again moving along the ridge, and after talking over the matter decided to go on the morrow and try to learn the cause. In the morning they started out and went until they came to the ridge, where, after searching some time, they found two strange creatures about so large (making a circle with outstretched arms), with round bodies covered with fine fur or downy feathers, from which small heads stuck out like the heads of terrapins. As the breeze played upon these feathers showers of sparks flew out._

_ The hunters carried the strange creatures back to the camp, intending to take them home to the settlements on their return. They kept them several days and noticed that every night they would grow bright and shine like great stars, although by day they were only balls of gray fur, except when the wind stirred and made the sparks fly out. They kept very quiet, and no one thought of their trying to escape, when, on the seventh night, they suddenly rose from the ground like balls of fire and were soon above the tops of the trees. Higher and higher they went, while the wondering hunters watched, until at last they were only two bright points of light in the dark sky, and then the hunters knew that they were stars._

_(Not My story, link is _)

When the story was done, Piper was asleep. Tristan picked her up from Grandpa's lap, and put her in their bed. He picked up the toys, and he wiped the applesauce from the table. He went to remove the nail polish, and he swept the floor. After all that, he sat down onto the chair, and waited patiently until his dad woke up. It was o.k., he was used to being patient. When he didn't, he got a blanket, put it on his dad, kissed his forehead, and went outside to sleep under the stars.

**And that's the end of that dry spell! I was going to make it longer, but I preferred this ending. Review, review, review!, and check out my other stories, I'm just about to start two, and update the other one. Sorry again, and flame on!**


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